I’m going to start off my honeymoon tale with our trip to the Bay of Islands. It was our third day in New Zealand and our first day on the boat. The crew were lovely. There was a dog on the boat called moby and the surroundings were beautiful. There were 3 other couples, a Swiss couple, a retired British pair and Kiwi locals.
Moby, barking at dolphins
Unfortunately, I overestimated my sea legs and started to feel a bit ill as we went through a patch of rough seas. Two other people had already vomited off the side of the boat before it was my turn. I’ll spare any more details and just tell you that next time I’ll take something before getting on the boat.
Things got slightly better after that before getting a whole lot worse.
Let me explain.
climbing up the side of an island.
We anchored near one of the many beautiful islands and got to wander around a beach…we saw a lizard, some crabs and picked up shells.
Then we went kayking through some really cool caves. Harry told me he was taking off his wedding ring and asked me if I wanted to as well. I said no. Why would I?
I wear it everywhere. At night. In the shower. In the gym. I did think for a minute that I should take mine off, maybe the sea water would be bad for it?
Anyway, kayaking was fun but I was really looking forward to snorkeling. We went near a reef. They were going to give us sea urchins to open up and feed the fish around the reef.
ready for a swim
I jumped into the water. It was the warmest ocean I’d ever been in but I was still getting used to it.
And then it happened.
Both my wedding and engagement rings slid off of my finger. And into the bottom of the Pacific ocean.
I have replayed this in my head a million times but its still not exactly clear. I could feel the rings leave my finger and I tried to grab them. I panicked. I shouted for Harry.
A million thoughts entered my head and most prominent amongst them was that I should have listened to my husband. Why didn’t I take the rings off? Who swims in the ocean with jewelry? Why? Why? Why?
Harry’s reaction? Well, before I tell you his… let me tell you what mine would have been in the reverse situation.
I’d like to tell you that I would have been completely understanding and loving but I know I would have been upset and would have made a point to say that ‘you didn’t listen to me’ or ‘I told you so’. I know myself too well and I think this is reflective of how I was raised. Consistently when I made mistakes it was drilled into me that I was stupid and irresponsible and as such when other people make mistakes I take that attitude towards them.
I told Harry what happened in between tears and catching my breath. His exact reaction (I can quote this as I’ve also replayed this in my head a million times)
“Oh no. Honey, don’t cry. Let’s see where you dropped it maybe we can see it. (puts his arms around me) Hey, this doesn’t change anything. I still love you and we are still married. I’m not mad.”
So we looked.
And looked along with the crew. The reef area wasn’t too deep but as we were free diving down without scuba gear, we didn’t have much time to search for it before we needed to catch our breath. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
And all the meanwhile more thoughts flooded my head. More like memories.
These memories:
never before seen footage of the actual proposal
'with this ring...'
The proposal flashed into my head. The thought he put into finding the ring. The money he saved away. The money I just let slip into the ocean.
Then I thought about the wedding ring. How it fit perfectly beneath the engagement ring. How it was simple, understated. I thought about how scared Rob was about loosing the ring the night before the wedding. And how I had lost it having only had it for 6 months.
I thought about how the rings couldn’t be an heirloom in the future. I couldn’t pass them down to our children. I couldn’t hold them on my aging hand years and years from now and relish in the memories that they held.
I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and naked (I was not used to not having a ring on my finger).
There were few things that could make me feel better but the crew from the boat said that they dive around that area twice per week and that it could still be possible to find it. I gave them my email address.
This is where I wish I could tell you I received an email with good news but I am still waiting.
Harry and I drove through a few small towns and stopped at some jewelers. I needed a ring on my finger, so we bought one. A simple, silver ring that looks a bit like a wave crashing. It was $100, handmade and designed locally. It was nice, but not the same.
They measured my finger and it was a whole size down from my other rings. Apparently I had lost some weight and the ring had gradually become a bit loose.
The support I had from Harry was nice and it is such a reflection of how I want to be and why I love him. He makes me a better person. But, I had to confront him.
I asked him to yell at me. I wanted him to yell at me.
Whenever I’ve done something wrong there have been arguments. If I broke something at home, I got shouted at. I needed to be shouted at.
But, he didn’t and he said that it would solve nothing and make no one feel better. Why can’t more people think like this?
Anyway, Harry and I didn’t let this ruin our honeymoon. I still think about loosing the rings but I have had some comforting stories from other people who have either lost rings down the tap, or know people who have had them stolen. “better at the bottom of the ocean in a beautiful place in the pocket of some thief” said my friend.
Alas, I’ll end this lengthy post…The trip was amazing and I have plenty of fun stories to share with you.
